We all know what hoarding is and with that understanding, you can probably figure out what emotional hoarding is but if you can’t it is the excessive collection of emotions and the inability to discard them. We are quick to judge a physical hoarder and follow with comments of how disgusting they are, you not being able to understand how they can live like that, and you’d never want to step foot in their home. Well, the only difference between a physical hoarder and an emotional one is the optics. You can’t see the mess that is the mind of an emotional hoarder. If you could, you’d react the same way you do with the physical hoarder. I’m not here to bash the emotional hoarder but I do want to make them aware of something that they may not be aware of. The emotional hoarder may be steadily cleaning the physical when the mess is in the mind. They may be heavily focused on the past and put less importance on the present and future. They may be addicted to finding triggers to bring that emotion they are holding onto to the forefront. The worst sign is the constant excuses they give to justify the negative acts, emotions, and behavior that are rooted in reaction to something that occurred in the past. Do this sound like someone you know?
If you have goals in life, one of the best things you can do for yourself is self-analysis. Once analyzed, you need to address the negatives. You have to get out of your way. There will be plenty of external obstacles so no need to create them internally. Emotional hoarding is a disability. No, I’m not saying you can get a check for it. I’m saying it can stop you from moving as well as you should be able to move. Think as you should be able to think. Your mind is so full of emotional garbage there is no room for clear thought. No room to dream, plan, or execute. The dream, the plan, and the execution are stuck somewhere between the memories of people mistreating you, the bad relationship, that illness, the negative occurrences in your childhood, the wasted time, and the 100’s of other times life wasn’t fair. When you sit and assess the situation, you’ll realize you are sacrificing the present and years of potential for something that has occurred and is done. There is no changing the past. The more present you waste the more negative/regrettable past you create that agian….you can’t change. Don’t set yourself up for a life locked into memories you didn’t enjoy and can’t change.
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I know people go through traumatic things and it may be a human trait to hold on to those things but we are alive. That gives us the ability to change things that are hurting us. If that trauma has become a crutch, it’s time to let that go. Yes, it happened. It was not ideal but you are breathing and made/making it through. Go make some good memories. Go do something you want to do. If it can’t be done immediately then clear your mind of the emotional garbage and make a plan to make it happen. Of course, there will be some roadblocks but they will not be from you and the accomplishment will feel great. A new memory. Will it be followed by a new outlook on life? It can be that simple if you say so. You have more control than you think.
In closing, use the present as a present. The past is something you lived through. It’s not you. You are here. You don’t have to bring the past with you. You can learn from it. You can become stronger because of it but in no way is it acceptable for it to stifle your progress/growth anymore. It will only be used for the positive. If it is not positive, leave it where it is. It’s stuck there without you. Don’t give it your legs like you have been doing.
Food for thought…You do the dishes!
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