A couple of weeks back, I wrote a piece on finding someone who is doing better. I’d like to follow up on that with this. Find someone on your level. Like the “doing better” piece, this isn’t dating advice. Finding someone on your level is vital in being level headed. Basically, not losing your mind. Finding a peer is key. Now, I know I may be talking to an alpha personality, maybe even a borderline narcissist right now and you have no peers but hear me out. (If this is not you, great but keep reading.) Finding someone who is in a similar situation as you, helps in many ways. No, they may not be doing the exact thing you are but maybe you both are starting a huge endeavor. Maybe you both have as far to go to achieve your goals. Whatever the commonality, once you see it in someone you should develop a link. Friendship. Acquaintance. Something, because you’ll need each other.

I understand most of my blogs are focused on entrepreneurs, but this applies to all. You can be one step away from being homeless and find a peer. There are billions of us on this planet. Someone is going through what you are going through and they are going through it right next to you. I don’t want this to sound like another difficult task you need to add to your ‘to-do” list of seemingly improbable things. It’s not. This person is already in your life. Open your eyes, most of us are surrounded by people in our position. Think about it. The people you work with. The people you fraternize with. The people you live near. These people are not normally living on a level you aren’t. Don’t make easy things difficult.

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Now, let’s get to the perks. One of the best perks is an instant familiarity which causes a level of ease and comfort. This person allows you to be informal. You can let your guard down knowing that this person is in the same boat as you. There is less of a chance of judgment and ridicule. The chance of this person not being able to identify with you is slim. They not only understand your fears, they probably share them. You may have some of the same issues. This is a perk because most of us don’t see our shortcomings or tend to reason them away but it’s easy to see in others. You’ll see it in them, and you’ll then be more willing to see it in yourself. Don’t feel too bad. It’s a human thing.

You both will have different issues too. This is a perk because you’ll be discussing your problems with someone you see as an equal. It’s easier to take criticism from a peer. A co-worker says you seem aloof in meetings when your idea isn’t being discussed. You may take the information and think about how you can seem or be more involved when external ideas are being discussed. You may even ask the co-worker for an idea or two. If your boss or executive tells you the same, you feel that your entire future at that company has just been declared condemned and scheduled to be destroyed. You may start sending out resumes that night. This may be a complete overreaction but this is how many of us take criticism from people we see as superior or in an authoritative role. This is the beauty of finding someone on the same level.

In closing, finding someone of your level is only going to help. Us humans need companions. Yes, some of us are introverts and would rather not be around too many people but remember this doesn’t need to be and shouldn’t be a crowd. Extroverts remember that, too. This is for a chosen few if that. Yes, there is joy in finding someone to identify with but remember the chance you both will grow at the same pace is slim. So, yes, you’ll need to do this a few times on your way. Think of it as a way to grow your social circle. No, every connection will not become a close friendship, but you and that person will always have the time you spent together. That point in time when you needed each other. That will never go away. A person like that will always be a call, email, or social media connection away. There is nothing wrong with that. There are many different levels of relationships. We need to understand that the notion of people being your friend, or a stranger is erroneous and an immature way of thinking. If you find yourself thinking this way, I’m hoping this piece assists in you changing it.

Food for thought…You do the dishes.
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