Life is hard. Things happen to you. This person did you wrong. That person let you down. The company you work for isn’t putting you in a position to move up. Man, life is hard. Some more things occurred. This person doesn’t believe in you. That person said the chances you succeed are slim and none. You go into business for yourself and every roadblock in the world seems to pop up. Why? The world must be against you. I mean, yeah, there are 7 billion-plus people on this planet, but you just know the powers that be seemed to have singled you out. What is the common theme here? The common theme is your finger is pointing at everything except yourself. At what point in your struggles have you ever looked in the mirror? That person in the mirror will provide more answers to your problems than all the things you are pointing at combined.

Let’s do it your way first. That person that wrong you. What exactly did they do? How does it affect your future? If the first answer begins with “they” but the second answer contains an “I” you just told yourself something. Same exercise for the person that let you down. I bet the second answer contains an “I”. So, what? What does that mean? It means they have nothing to do with how you move forward. You gave them power by allowing their wrong or shortcoming the ability to not only travel with you but detour your journey. The good part is that the second answer tells you who is in control. Let’s fill in those answers to bring it home. What exactly did they do? They deceived me and continued to smile in my face thinking I didn’t know the truth. How does it affect your future? Well, “I” have trouble trusting people now. I…..meaning you, right?

You control that. You choose who you will trust going forward. You don’t allow peoples wrongs to control you or your journey causing you to shut everyone out. Am I making sense? Let’s tackle people not believing in you and doubting your dreams/goals. First, they shouldn’t believe in you or your dreams. Why should they? Everyone has hopes and dreams and, in their head, the chances of you being one of the special few is not something they can see right now. The biggest issue here is you being affected by the beliefs of others about a dream that belongs to you. No one understands or will believe as you do. You are going to be alone on this journey for a while before you begin to see supporters. Oh, and as for the world being against you… with all the great and beautiful things occurring in this world alongside the terrible and ugly things, I’d say this world is pretty indifferent about your success or failure. We can dismiss that thought.

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Now, let us try the look in the mirror approach. You give yourself immeasurable power by seeking validation from within. As soon as you look elsewhere you are giving your power and possibly your future to someone or something else. If you feed off outside validation, the second it stops you are in need. You are looking in every direction for someone to justify or confirm what or who you think you are. This is not necessary. You acknowledging yourself is more than sufficient. You also need to have this work both ways. You need to be able to look in the mirror and point to yourself when something occurs that is, in fact, your doing. You put yourself in that position. You chose to give that person or situation a second, third, maybe fourth chance. You didn’t take that leap of faith. You didn’t leave that job that showed you they didn’t value you. You are the person who wants to get in better shape but decided against working out, drinking more water, and cutting out sugar. Sorry, but yeah, that was you and it’s okay. It’s okay because from today on you are self-sufficient. You can point out the good and the bad now. You can call yourself out. No problem. The fact that you are not looking outside for the culprit will allow you to address the situation quickly and more effectively. You got this because you are the only person who can have it.

In closing, looking in the mirror is a difficult thing. Just as everything else is in the beginning but once you get it life gets easier to understand. Not easier. Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. Life stays hard. You get better. Issues continue to occur, your methods of handling them will change. People will continue to be people but how you deal with them and who you allow to be around you changes. People believing in you and supporting you is great, but it should always be the icing on the cake and never the cake. You should learn to make your own icing too. Creating your own sprinkles and cake stand wouldn’t hurt either. You know, just in case someone decides they want theirs back.

Food for thought…You do the dishes.
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