“Be yourself” is not terrible advice. At times, it can be some of the best advice you can get. We may change the surface of who we are in attempts to make a good first impression. Some can go even further behaving in ways that can make it hard for them to recognize themselves. The problem with changing your surface for a first impression is you’ll need to put on that front every time after that or risk the real you having an ill effect on the new relationship.
Behaving in ways you usually wouldn’t, can make you lose yourself causing stress, depression, or worse. The safe and preferable way of not being yourself is to be who it is you want to be. This is behaving in ways you normally wouldn’t but this time it’s with direction. As long as what/who you want to be is for the better the direction will save you from losing yourself. In this case, you are still you but you are attempting to become a better form of you maybe even an unrecognizable form of you.
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Deciding who you want to be can change frequently in the early years of life. For some, this may not start to steady until almost halfway through life. With life expectancy steadily creeping towards 90 years, there can be decades of soul searching going on. Once you reach adulthood, you’ve heard “be yourself” more than you’ve heard “love yourself” or “take care of yourself”. This can cause bad life decisions like not striving to do better, not taking a lesser position for the betterment of your future, or not trying something out of character all for the sake of “being yourself.” Is this loving or taking care of yourself? One would think not.
Not striving to be better is not giving yourself the chance to improve life around you. Refusing to take a lesser position can upend the chance of you having the ability to utilize the income to cover basic expenses and/or use the extra time from having a lesser role to focus on a side project that will soon replace the position. Trying something out of character is giving room for growth. No growth? Nothing new? Is that the life you want? Have you ever thought about not being yourself anymore? It’s not always a negative thing.
For those who understand that being themselves just will not cut it when it comes to what or who you aspire to be, you have a huge advantage over the aforementioned “be yourself” group. You are acknowledging that you have work to do. You are giving yourself direction. You are placing a crown above your head to grow into and go with you afterward.
You are not selling out. This isn’t you putting on a front to impress someone or losing yourself in the process of becoming a stranger. No. You know this person. This is the person you want to be. This is you going through a metamorphosis. You’ll never stop being you. You’ll simply no longer be “that” you.
In closing, we need to embrace change especially for the better. We seem to treat it all the same. Foreclosure? “Awww, man all of that hard work for nothing. Now, I have to adjust and work hard again.” Learning a new skill? “Aww, man all of that hard work for nothing. Now, I have to adjust and work hard again.” Please pay attention to your actions and statements because you are watching and listening. Grow into that crown. Love yourself. Take care of yourself.
Food for thought…You do the dishes.
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