You hate that you do this. If you never did it again, you’d be extremely happy. In addition to jumping for joy, you’ll have this huge dark cloud removed from above you. It will make you a better person and equip you for the next stage of your life. This sounds like a great deal. So, why do we have such a hard time taking it? Repeated mistakes. We are doing what we know isn’t helping us and on top of the bad habit /trait /addiction /action, we are actively choosing to do it time after time. What is telling us that this choice we are making is better than the relief of never doing it again? It is a mystery to most of us. This is why so many of us fight with this throughout life including myself. Let’s dig a little deeper and attempt to discover a solution. You know other than simply not doing it.
The issue isn’t that we don’t realize it’s an issue. That could be a big reason in ordinary circumstances but I’m talking about the people who are past that stage. We recognize it but what is going on within us that is allowing us to overrule ourselves? Maybe it’s an “I’m grown and I’ll do what I want to do” attitude but analyzing that you’ll realize that is always stated after you do the thing you are trying to stop. It’s a way to make us feel that we are in more control than we are. I mean, we should be, right? We are doing it. Of course, we are in control. We can stop doing it. I mean, until we do it again. Well, if we do it’s because we wanted to. How long are we going to play that game and continue to go in circles attempting to win a fight not only without fighting but not acknowledging the opponent? To overcome this, we must be honest. We’ve lost control.
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If we look at the possibility that we are not in as much control as we think we are, we may get somewhere. Somewhere we haven’t been. A point where we admit to ourselves this issue needs a lot more attention than we have given it. What good, even if extremely temporary, are we getting out of this habit/trait/addiction/action? This is what is making us say NO to relief and progress and YES to ongoing disappointment and self-loathing.
Once this is identified we need to game plan on how we are going to take it’s power over us away. What is that good? Is it a feeling? Is it hope? Is it escape? Is it a defense? Can we replace this issue with a more positive, less defeating thing? The answer is yes. Finding that “thing” is where the real work begins. Some of us will be able to do this ourselves while others will need help from others. No shame there. Did you need help to be extremely happy and remove a huge dark cloud from over your head? Okay. Cool. Whatever is needed.
In closing, mistakes are not the issue. Making mistakes is part of life. It means we are living and trying. Repeated mistakes mean we are living and trying but without learning then adapting. This leaves us open to unnecessary disappointment and stress. We’ll get those either way but being disappointed and stressed over trying to do something new is way better than experiencing that same failure and neglecting the cause, leading to more of the same. If this piece is speaking to you, get to work. Picture yourself jumping for joy with the sun finally shining on you.
Food for thought…You do the dishes.
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