There is a problem with people as a whole when it comes to celebrating others. Some call it “hate.” Others may call it jealousy. I think it comes down to selfishness. Yes, seeing someone doing well can cause a little unease, but it shouldn’t result in ill feelings towards them. You are the one with work to do. What happened with your goals? How did this person you refuse to congratulate stop your goals?
I’m not talking about the loser of a one on one bout. They have an understandable reason. The silver and bronze medalist having a reasonable beef with the gold medal winner may get a pass also. The issue is these scenarios don’t fit 99.9% of the people with problems celebrating others. Selfishness causes us to lack consideration for others while being concerned chiefly with one’s profit or pleasure. This selfishness means you are unable to acknowledge the hard work, skill, and talent of others.
We can have clouded judgment when it comes to evaluating ourselves. Whatever it is we do or are attempting to do, we grade our work on a curve. I remember when I first started to make music. At that time, I heard no difference between my novice level work and the pro-level work I listened to on the radio and internet. That music needs work as I listen back now, but this is 15 years later. I’ve become a professional myself. I understand the steps it takes to get the music to sound “pro-level”. With this thought process understood, attempt to see yourself in this scenario. Your skill level starts with whatever natural ability you have. This ability is usually not much and will only be realized by some via practicing what they desire to do. The more ability you have, the faster you’ll progress.
Let’s say you are 1 year into it. You see your progress and feel you should be at the top of the industry. You are just as good or better than anyone else who does what you do. This is all in your head, of course. This stage is a common one. Unfortunately, a step where the majority of us stay. We stay there because we began to get filled with what is thought to be hate and jealousy. Our behavior will show that way on the outside looking in. It is selfishness in addition to not understanding what the success of others take.
Yes, I remember feeling my music was on the level of the pro stuff, but I was mistaken. I then begin creating a playlist on my computer with pro-level music producers’ instrumentals and my music mixed in. Even with me wanting to convince my ears everything was on the same level, it was clear it was not. It was a cold, hard lesson, but it was the best thing I could have done for myself. It made me see both my shortcomings in addition to the hard work, skill, and talent of the other producers.
It helped me get out of my selfish stance. My goal should have been to be the best I can be and soon, be one of those producers who can be added to another aspiring producer’s playlist. Getting out of being selfish allowed me to celebrate the success of others. I was able to admire them for what they have accomplished. I started to understand the work needed. I saw the joy they were experiencing. I started to experience joy through them.
Yes, I wanted to be at that level to experience the joy on that level but discovered joy in the journey. I was missing out on minor milestones in my own life. Wasting energy and creating it in a negative capacity. All it was doing was stifling my ascension and taking away the possibility of bringing joy into my life via the joy of others. Think about the amount of music I would have missed out on because of my selfishness. The ideas sparked from hearing the work of others not happening. The experience I would not have gained from believing my skill level was just fine where it was a year after I started. Can you put yourself in this scenario? You are possibly stripping away the chance of your future because of your disdain for the success of another.
In closing, learn to celebrate others. It is a 99.9% chance their success has no barring yours. Enjoy success for what it is. It is someone who was once just like you, experiencing the feeling of reaching the point they could once only dream about living. You’d be smiling ear to ear if it was you. You’d enjoy and expect the people around you at the time of your success to be cheerful also.
Could you imagine how much it would suck to dedicate and apply yourself to something for years only to get to the point of celebrating with no one happy about it but you? That would be a tough pill to swallow. Don’t be the pill. Be the smile that person is seeking. It is what you would want. Your turn will come. Keep working. You are closer than you think.
Food for Thought…You do the dishes!
