The expression white whale is used to explain an activity or thing an individual obsesses over or is constantly chasing to the point that it becomes dangerous for their health or safety. Another use of the expression is in describing the Man or Woman you like but never seem to go out with or stay with. “The one that got away.” Some enjoy the chase with the hopes of one day obtaining it. Some obsess until there is no joy in the journey, leaving obtaining the goal as the only chance of bringing relief.
With this known, what is your white whale? Is it something that started as a simple goal? Has the wait bothered you to the point of anger? Although anger, disappointment, and frustration visit daily, do you find yourself continuing the chase? What is this thing you are chasing? Will it give you what you expect when/if you get it? Is there anything planned after obtaining it? The worst part of most people’s “white whale” is the lack of a plan after accomplishing the goal. This issue is because most never reach the goal but, what about the few that do? What if one of the few is you?
Let’s discuss the majority. The majority of people never obtain what they chase. This fact is not the end of the world for those of us who can move on with ease. The problem is the highly determined population of us. Some of us are guaranteed an abundance of stress and disappointment. This misfortune is for a trait heavily desired by those in lack of it. Even with the knowledge of the “white whale” expression, how does a person know when to quit? I’d think it depends on the goal. If it is a person, it may be after a couple of No’s. If it is a job, you can find yourself no longer on that path after a few years and really like your new direction. If it is a dream or an overall life goal, I have no answer to why you should stop. How do you quit on a life goal? You keep chasing until death, correct?
The only way to stop in this scenario would be to ask yourself, “Am I okay with never accomplishing what I’ve told myself I wanted to do?” The answer to this depends on external circumstances. Is the goal money-based? If so, are you okay chasing it your entire life? Is it a talent goal? Does the talent require accompaniment of a young age or level of athleticism? We all know that youth, strength, and speed are fleeting. If it’s something that can be your life’s work, chase it. If it is time-based, pay attention to the clock. Do all you can in the time you give yourself. Once that time is up, decide to let it be the one that got away. You have much more life and many other great things to chase.
What about the few that obtain this goal they couldn’t stop chasing? What was the plan after this? Most goals take many years to obtain. The worst part would be obtaining it and not knowing what to do with it. Your lack of knowing what to do with it will also take away the joy you swore you’d have once obtained. Is all that time wasted? What else could you have been chasing? Are you taking joy away from others who are chasing the same thing and came up short? You don’t want to be in that place. Have an answer to the following questions when chasing something: “What will I do after I obtain this?” “How will it benefit me?” “What will I be able to do for others? These questions and there answers will keep you going, give you joy when you obtain it, and give purpose after you do.
In closing, we all have the one that got away. A dream goal. A dream job. A dream partner. A dream house. These things are part of life but, we shouldn’t allow this to become life. We need to pay attention to our behavior towards something we are chasing. What is that relationship like? Does it hurt? Is any joy in it? Is the goal worth it? Is the goal an instant or something that will last the rest of your life? Be careful about what you allow to take precedence in your life. It may have been important at one point but, that time may have passed. You are so obsessed with the chase you haven’t stopped and looked up in a while. A short break with a hard look at what you are chasing may stop the pursuit. Not every “white whale” is worth catching. There is plenty more in the ocean.
Food for thought…You do the dishes!
