Have you ever experienced something that upset you so much that even after you felt better, you state, “I’m going to stay angry because I should be upset longer?” This behavior can be your behavior towards a person, yourself, or your outlook on life. We force ourselves to be in a negative mood. What we don’t do is attempt the opposite. We need to tell ourselves we should be happy. If something happens that makes us feel positive we should say, “I should be happy longer.” The sad part of the last sentence is it sounds so weird. Is being happy taboo? If it is, we need to work on breaking that. We live in a world when describing a scenario where you choose to stay in a negative space is relatable. Being happy is a choice just as choosing to be upset is. What are some actions that will help? How can we start to see positivity as a selectable option? We treat positivity and joy as if it chooses us. We can choose it.
When you have a crappy experience, you welcome the “bad” mood. Initially, this is okay. It may help you express yourself. It may help in defending yourself. It may also assist in matching the disrespect that caused the bad experience. While this is understandable, what are the perks in harboring this feeling for days or weeks? Yes, you feel you should be upset. If the reasons above are covered, can you think of reasoning to stay angry? No, but of course seeing there is no good reason to continue is just shy of enough proof to stop doing it. Well, you are also shunning potential good times. How often are you upset and choose not to go out? Not to work out? Not to give the guy/girl who approached you a chance because you are mad about something or someone?
In just assessing those three scenarios, you’ve lost the opportunity to have a good time around new people. You lost a good workout that would have made you feel great and accomplished after completion, and you could have thrown away a lifetime of love, laughs, and amazing experiences. If that doesn’t push you over to the side of embracing the choice of happiness, you may be too deep in your current funk. You’ll want to revisit this when you get tired of being in it.
In no way is choosing to be happy easy at the start. Most of us have spent our lives with the backward approach of embracing negative feelings. Like any change, it takes time. It will take dedication. The work you put into breaking the backward practice should make you promise yourself you’ll never have to work that hard to choose positivity again. If you’ve ever attempted to warn someone or gave the advice in an attempt to help someone prevent a painful experience, you’ve also experienced a couple choosing not to listen. In the beginning, you are going to be both people. It will be frustrating but, you will get through.
This experience will help you help others you care about to do the same thing. As you did, they’ll also need additional reasoning for helping themselves. Your extra can be your experience. You’ll understand the rare feeling of fighting yourself for the betterment of yourself. It is very similar to your body when you first start to exercise or getting back into it. Two minutes into the workout, your brain and body are screaming stop. Two weeks later, your body and brain are screaming start. It is how breaking habits work. Once the custom is broken or replaced, you give yourself the ability to assess the benefits of the new choice. When the option is confirmed to be advantageous it trumps the old habit.
In closing, selecting to be happy is a choice that we are treating as a reward. A reward that only comes when something good happens to us or for us. This thought is a false narrative. You can choose to be happy just as you choose to eat. You can choose to be happy just as you choose to search the internet or browse a store. Most importantly, you can choose to be happy just as you choose to be angry.
Bad things happen. Tough breaks occur. Being down in the dumps about something that has already occurred is not beneficial. Acting as if it is, is a waste of time. Use the present to come to terms with the current situation while choosing to be happy. Yes, you still have to deal with whatever angered you. You don’t have to take the negative feelings with you into your future. Feel good while you are getting through it. Once you get through it, choose to feel good longer.
Food for thought…You do the Dishes.
