What do you want? It’s one of those easy questions to ask but difficult to answer for most. The answer is the difference between having or not having a plan. The answer can mean overcoming a vice that is destroying your life. The answer to the question is everything. Why don’t most of us have the answer? Life. Life took the answer from you. Ask a child what they want in any capacity. Ask them what they want to be when they grow up. Ask about what they want to do this upcoming weekend. Ask them to name the toy they want. Their answers are there. So, are ours. We just no longer possess the gull to share it. We don’t share it anywhere. We don’t speak of it externally or internally. We are in a bad position when we can’t speak of ideals in our inner dialogue. What is going on? Do we know what this behavior does?

As an adult, we think about a lot more than a child when speaking to what we want. We think about the work it will take. We think about whether or not we deserve it. We think about the feasibility of the want. These thoughts lead to not daring to even speak of it. When did we get to the point of fearing a good thing? We want all the good the world offers, but we take what it gives us. We deal with the negative and/or stagnation of our lives, but will not dare to speak of experiencing better. We are our worst enemy in this scenario. By punishing ourselves for past decisions, we are paying for mistakes we made in the past with our future. This behavior is outrageous. We give power to the past in our minds. The truth is, the past is lifeless and stagnant. We give it life by pumping our present with worries stemming from it. We offer our legs to the past, by carrying it with us into our future. Unfortunately, the issues build based on this.

When we can’t answer the question, “what do you want?” we can’t receive help. Help comes when a person can understands a need and offers to fill that need. How can a person help if there is no plea? This situation can get scary. We can want help and not know how to ask for it. Let’s say you take the courageous step of seeing a counselor or shrink. The questions will come. What do you want to get out of these interactions? What is your goal? How do you plan to get there? The person on the other side of the conversation is there to guide us through the journey, not create the journey for us. A person assume a want, but cannot tell us what we want. If we are a smoker, we want to quit. If we are overweight, we want to lose weight. If we are attempting to make a decision, we want a resolution. As we experience life, we realize actions are not as cut and dry as our statements. Many of us are stuck on the first part of the aforementioned sentences. There is way more than a comma in the way. Doubt, fear, self-hate, regret, shame, addiction, and lack of skill are the obstacles standing in the way. We will need to address all of these that apply to get to the other side of the statement. There is no shortcut to the results we want.

In closing, “what do you want” is a question we must get comfortable answering. A small amount of us will be fortunate enough to adjust like the flip of a switch. The majority will have to work on it. Any obstacle that will stop you must be addressed. If you are a smoker, you must realize you are fighting an addiction. If you are overweight, you must deal with the regret and/or shame you have for allowing it to get this far. If you are attempting to make a choice, you must address the doubt and/or fear you have. These are prerequisites. They must be completed before we get to what we want, but we must dare to state it. Speak of it. At that point, the work can begin.

Food for thought. You do the dishes.