We Limit Ourselves

We Limit Ourselves

We tend to live as if we can only be good at one thing. We may tell ourselves: “I’m good at this.” which is positive. The problem is it swings to a negative. The statement is soon twisted, to tell ourselves we can only be good at one thing. Another scenario is telling ourselves we are not good at something. We’ll state it like we can’t get better. We limit ourselves. We act as if we were always experts at what we do well. That thought process is false, but we need to discuss why this way of thinking is detrimental to a fulfilling life.

Limiting ourselves starts with outlook on life and fear. If our outlook on life is based on our ability to exhibit high skill at everything we do, we are setting ourselves up for a restricted life. At moments in our lives, we couldn’t speak, walk, run, ride a bike, drive a car, navigate a smartphone, or troubleshoot a laptop/desktop issue, amongst other things. Living in the mindset of being exceptional at all we attempt, restricts our growth. We take away the ability to be a student or novice. Sit and think about refusing to learn something new after we have passed the “student” phase of our lives.

Let’s say we give ourselves 3-5 years after school to allow ourselves to become skillful at our chosen profession. For the majority of us, that is 23-27 years old. The average life expectancy in the United States is 79 years. We sign ourselves up for no improvement outside our comfort zone for 52 -56 years. That is crazy. We don’t look at it that way, but that is what we are doing, but why? Fear. Fear of failing. Fear of being judged. Fear of spending time questioning ourselves. We need to tell ourselves we are doing more harm by not expanding our expertise. Failing is part of growth. If we cannot remember the last time we tried and failed, it has been too long since we have tried.

Why are we so quick to state where we don’t possess skills? Why don’t we ask ourselves why we haven’t gotten better? We will live years telling ourselves we are not good at something. Eventually, we’ll see that we’ve stated we aren’t great a something for a period of time longer than it would have taken to gain a respectable amount of skill. This realization is a sad moment, but hopefully, the next time is the last time we’ll need to feel that way. If the need for skill is coming up often enough for us to state we aren’t good at it, it is clearly something we should be adding to our list of skills.

How often must we remind ourselves of the need? Every summer, we can’t swim. Every winter, we need to learn to control our eating because spring will be here before we know it. Every season we tell ourselves we would love to do something that was a childhood dream, but we need to gain more skill in it before we try. We must stop this never-ending cycle. Years can pass easily when these instances aren’t a daily occurrence. Ignoring a flaw 1 to 4 times a year is easier than 365 times a year. We need to make our gaps or lack of skills a daily priority. It is our best chance at making that weakness a strength. We have to give ourselves a chance to grow. A daily reminder will be a welcomed ally.

In closing, we must acknowledge that we limit ourselves. There is too much going on in people’s lives to have the time to dedicate to limiting the ascension of others. We have to be honest with ourselves and admit that we do a better job restricting our growth than any other person in this world can. We should use this information as a springboard to a new and improved mindset. The more we tell ourselves we can do something, the better we get. The more we gain comfort in being a novice, the more we understand it is a temporary state. Being a novice is a sign of a start toward becoming an expert. There is no other way we should look at it. A positive outlook leads to positive results. We can do whatever it is we desire to do. We need to remove our names from the list of people who restrict our growth. For most of us, this is a list of one.

Food for thought. You do the dishes!