Can people trust you? Many of us will say “Sure.” but can they? We’ll state people can trust us in a second but question placing trust in others just as fast. Let’s remember that we all think this way. This approach leaves us as a crowd who welcomes people to trust them with no comfort or desire to reciprocate. So, asking in a better fashion “Should people trust you?” It is difficult to supply something without it being reciprocated. If this is difficult to understand, replace trust with respect, love, or time. How long can you give those without receiving it in return? It clicked, huh? I bet it did. Before we selfishly let it be known we are the people to trust, we’ll need to dig into why or even if we are and why others are so undeserving of ours.
First, do we trust ourselves? If we do, should we? Do we possess a track record of keeping promises to ourselves? How often do we tell ourselves we are going to do something and then do it? How many times have we set goals without experiencing an accomplishment? In those times, how often was the disappointment missing just as the accomplishments were? We let ourselves off the hook a lot because it’s just us. No one to hold us accountable. No one to see that we are not keeping our word. No one there to help us see we aren’t very trustworthy people. This secret and lack of self-awareness are why we believe we are to be trusted. We have some work to do before inviting others to be just as disappointed as we should be with ourselves.
Why are we okay with no accountability? Well, it is a lot easier to deal with than the contrary. The issue with ease is it involves content. Content requires a lack of change. Lack of change is notorious for being accompanied by underachievement. Most of us are not in a position to be surrounded by ease. We have not achieved enough for ease to be what surrounds us. How do we fix this? Accountability. Accountability is hard. Hard things result in the opposite of what ease provides. How many of us can use a little discontent and change? If that doesn’t sound very pleasant, experiencing over-achievement will make it all worth it.
After going through the change above, we should be ready to attempt to present ourselves as trustworthy. Although we still have one issue. We don’t trust others the way we trust ourselves. We didn’t trust others when we shouldn’t have trusted ourselves. Now that we are sure we should trust ourselves because of the mindset shift we adopted, we are even more skeptical of trusting others. How do we resolve this? We are going to be selective with who we trust. Just as before, but with more of a chance of success. We didn’t trust anyone because the made-up reasons with gave ourselves. This stance was not worth much because we gave ourselves that same trust that no one else deserves, although we fit the undeserving crowd perfectly. Now, we are looking for people who deserve our trust. They will hold themselves accountable, share discontent, and not shy away from change. These people warrant our trust because they possess the traits that over-achievement tends to hang around. They are upfront and share what they want in life. Most people are so closed off it is hard to trust them. Remember, trust requires openness and trust between individuals necessitate an exchange openness.
In closing, the answer to “Should people trust you?” may be no. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Earning trust in yourself is the first step. This step will prepare you for choosing who you trust externally. There are traits to look for that you may have overlooked. You have blindly trusted yourself for a long time with holding yourself accountable. Keep tabs on the list of what you tell yourself will be so and how often it is. A person that can trust themselves is the person who others can trust. Let’s hold off being so quick to let the world know we are to be trusted.
Food for thought. You do the dishes!
