Many of the people I know grew up in less than average conditions. We did not have much money, if any. We didn’t get the best k-12 education available. We weren’t pushed to do better. We weren’t taught to strive for more. It had to come from within for most of us. We needed to look around and choose to do better daily. Some grew up in a small town and had to get the guts to leave. Some like myself grew up in one of the biggest cities in the world (NYC) and needed to leave to progress. There are many perks of being raised with little like not being afraid of being broke. We did it and know how to live in it and dig out of it. The forever burning desire to do better is another. Another perk in my opinion is the pride we have for being one of the few to make it out. I feel that this pride is a gift and a curse. Which brings me to the title of the blog: Don’t go backwards to impress the old you.
I’m from (enter your city here) you don’t want this! Don’t make me show you! Why do we do this? Does it make us feel better? Which us? The old us or the current? If you’ve worked your behind off to get and do better in life, why would you want to do what the old you would have done? I do it too but why? It must be to satisfy our old mentality. I grew up in a city where you needed to speak up or get beat up. Speaking up could have been all verbal or speaking with fists or more. I have an internal war every time I handle conflict in a way I wouldn’t have in the past. I know it’s the right way to handle it but I still see the old me in my peripheral pissed off and disappointed at the outcome. It’s an ongoing battle that I’m hoping I continue to win.
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The fight and push back one can fight with internally can also be external. The “old you” can represent more than just you. It can represent your old neighborhood, old lifestyle, old friends, and unfortunately old family. People can see you and feel they should be where you are. No real logic behind it. They don’t know what you did to get there and really don’t know where you are in life. They just have a general idea you are doing better than them. They instantly feel less than and sometimes show disrespect towards you. You can react in two ways. Civilly or uncivilized. I’m not judging (I can’t) but try to assess the situation and decide if the civil way is possible. Working in the corporate world and just growing up a little showed me you can get the same effect with words/non-physical action as a punch in the face. It takes practice and I’m no pro but consider the punch or beat down a microwaved meal and the methodical, cunning action as an oven baked feast. Yes, I know sometimes you just want a hot pocket but remember it is not as satisfying as you think. There is also a way smaller chance of the decision coming back to hurt you in a negative way, just like a microwaved meal.
In closing, please try not to go backwards. The people that are attempting to pull you back are either stuck or moving so slow they must bring you to them to feel better about themselves. Don’t allow it. Make sure to appreciate everything positive in your life. Enjoy everything you worked for. Don’t let another person attempt to belittle your success by downplaying it or acting out to get you to give it all up. If you ever want to go back, go way back to the child who had no power or choice but to live and grow up in the surroundings you had to grow in. That person will get you on the right track. You now have the power and the choice. Tell that “old you” to kiss your ass. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Enjoy your new life and the new you, unapologetically.
Food for thought…. you do the dishes!
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