If you are striving to be the best you can be and happen to surround yourself with strong-willed dreamers you know or are this person I’m about to describe. On the outside looking in, they are killing it. They are doing extremely well. They are doing more than most of the people their age or any age for that matter. They seem to have it all together. They have a nice personal life. They are excelling professionally. They have all the material things most people want whether it’s a big house, nice cars, or a super expensive wardrobe. The only thing this person is missing is the celebration. They don’t seem to be too happy about where they are in life. Most would trade places with them in a heartbeat but ironically it seems they may trade places just as willingly. This person may be seen as grumpy or even seen as ungrateful. This may be a terrible misassociation. There is a chance this person is simply not as close to attaining their dreams as they are to meeting and exceeding your expectations for them.

Let’s use this example of 2 college friends. The college friends shared their dreams in school. Friend A’s dream was to graduate from undergrad, complete their masters, start a family, and obtain a 6 figure salary by the age of 30. Friend B’s dream was to graduate from undergrad and run their own successful business. 10-12 years have since passed. Friend A graduated undergrad and is only a couple of classes away from completing their masters. They did start a family but the relationship didn’t work out. They did get two amazing children out of the deal. They are technically making 6 figures but minus child-support, the adjusted salary does not hit the mark. Friend B graduated on the same day as friend A. They have since married and had children. They incorporated their business but the past years have been spent working in the corporate world to support their family. The corporate world treated them well and they received all the benefits of it. Cars? Yes. House? Yes. Money? Yes. This was great but it was not a successful business of their own so they eventually left. Which one is successful?

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Well, Friend A is a couple of classes, a partner, and a small raise from living their dream. So it has to be them, right? Not in their eyes. They are dying to be Friend B because Friend B has it all. Friend A sees the freedom Friend B has. They also see Friend B and can’t understand why they never take time to live it up. They don’t party much and always seem to head down, focused on something. Friend A thinks Friend B is so unappreciative, so unthankful. Friend B is happy that Friend A is so close to achieving their dreams. Friend B knows that Friend A can achieve their dream in a year or two max. Friend B also knows that their business is 5-10 years away from getting to where they want it to be so they work every day towards it. There seems to be a disconnect here. I don’t think Friend B is the person Friend A thinks they are. Friend A may need to ask questions the next time they feel Friend B isn’t showing the level of appreciation for their life as Friend A sees fit. They may discover the reasoning as to why that is. Friend B is on step 2 or 3 of 10. Friend A is on step 2 or 3 of 4. No, we shouldn’t compare dreams but we do need to understand people’s dreams vary in size and people’s paths vary in length. Understand the journey before judging the person walking it.

In closing, everyone has dreams and goals. Some of us dream extremely big. Even less of us turn that dream into multiple steps leading up to reality. Be aware of this and try not to beat up a person who in your eyes is doing great and should be celebrating but in their eyes, they are just beginning their journey. They are not being negative. They are not down in the dumps. They are not being too serious. They are focused and working towards a dream. They are not oblivious to the success they have achieved so far. They are just not ready to celebrate. There is much more work to do.

Food for thought…you do the dishes.
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