The ability to take care of others while taking care of ourselves. The overall health of the relationship you and the people around you have. The joy or angst you feel when social events or the requirement to be around people arises. These are all examples of social wellness. We don’t ignore this side of wellness, but it is often mislabeled. We can mistake taking care of others at the expense of something we want as selflessness. Call ourselves introverts instead of understanding the relationships you possess with people in your current circle. We also throw the introvert word around as an excuse to be absent from events we should attend. This scenario could actually be because of depression or unhappiness with the way we appear but we mask it. This action will affect our social wellness. We should be sure to call it what it is if we desire to check off another 6th of our Wellness circle.

There is a complex we adopt where we believe we are “good” people by putting ourselves in a bind. We may even take issues off the plate of others to show we care. This action ends up being detrimental to our journey. We may be considered “good” people for helping someone out, but we will not win points with ourselves. We tend to become upset and not have the time to address our issues. We unknowingly build resentment with ourselves. We create an internal fight of being a “good” person versus being “selfish.” We get to the point where continuing to put ourselves in a bind is considered the better alternative than addressing our issues, goals, or dreams. This situation occurs by simply labeling one good and the other selfish. How can we win in this situation? We should remove the labels and dig into what is reality. The reality is if we don’t address the mislabeling, our resentment will spill over to anyone who approaches us for help or seems to need it. Yes, this will negatively affect our social wellness. We will not want to be around anyone in an attempt to protect ourselves. This stance will be apparent and reciprocated by those around us. They will feel resentment and never ask for anything again.

There is also a phenomenon in which we use a diagnosis as a crutch. Yes, we know we do it, especially regarding medical/psychological diagnosis. We ignore the self-diagnosis. We tell ourselves way more than we get medically or psychologically confirmed. One of the main self-diagnoses is telling ourselves we are introverts. The definition of an introvert is a shy, reticent person. Shy- to be reserved; having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. Reticent- not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily. Why do we use this word as an excuse for us not wanting to be around people? By examining the definitions, we can determine a person can be both an introvert and desire to be around people. Yes, we may be a little nervous or timid. Seeing our crush. Showing up for your first day of school or work. Stepping on stage to share your thoughts. Introverts do these things every day. Sure, we may not be there to explain away our thoughts or feelings, but to use being an introvert as the reason to never show up to anything is ridiculous.

We may see ourselves as a “lone wolf” and enjoy alone time but also find ourselves wanting company. One doesn’t take away from the other or tie us to living one way. When you dive a little deeper into our reasoning, we’ll discover it’s not being an introvert. It can be how we see ourselves, the thought of what others will think, do, or say, or a red flag telling us we may be suffering from depression. All of these possibilities can be addressed and overcome. The only way to do it is to call it what is it. Upon addressing the real issue, we can embrace opportunities to meet and grow with others while knowing how to set boundaries, respect our journeys, and enjoy the ability to assist when we can without hindering ourselves.

In closing, social wellness takes work and attention. We should not attempt to tackle all six sides of wellness at once. We didn’t screw them up at once, and we shouldn’t expect to fix them that way. One at a time is fine. Think of them as pieces to a puzzle. As we take care of part of the puzzle, we will see it coming together. This discovery will enable the ability to repair the others in a quicker fashion. All we need to do is get started. Choose which side you’d like to address first and move.

Food for thought. You do the dishes.